What is going on in Iraq?

I Just want to tell all gays in the world how much it became difficult to live in Iraq and epically for gays …
Adding to daily killing and assassinations that never stop in all over Iraq , car bombs , explosions and kidnapping but the bad thing that the situation is getting worst and Iraqis started losing hope ..
No nightlife, Iraqis should be at homes before 7 p.m. , the government is so fucking weak that they can not even protect themselves…
Iraq and especially Baghdad become a shitty place to live ..
A friend of mine tried to come few weeks go to my flat but he could not because of the daily curfew ,troops ,checkpoints and insurgents!!
We can not predict what might happened to us if we leave our homes, Baghdad streets almost empty ,no restaurants ,no clubs, no parties..
All the time I ask my self why is that happing to us and why people are dying with no reason ..
I love sex , I love to meet new people ,I love gays , and I love life but it seems I will have no life in Iraq anymore ..
Iraqi People have changed, now we only see insurgents ,killers , religious fundamentals and extremists , religion song and music …
Although there are always good people but it seem all good people left this country

Few weeks ago I went to a coffee shop in Baghdad around noon where many gays used to gather around and have some fun, it was almost empty only few old men sitting here and there , the coffee was not clean like it used to be before ,chairs and tables weren’t well organized , the floor was not clean also..
I set for ten minutes looking around me and remember who it was nice few years ago, when it used to be much more brighter filled with customers ...most of them were gays.
A nice waiter in his 20s approached and asked me if I would like to drink something, he has very nice eyes, nice body , tall and with brown skin ,his hand was big comparing to his body.. bottom line (he was attractive ) , but before I give my order I asked him :
Why the coffee is not clean like it used to be before ?
He stare at me for a while and he shacked his head , then he said :are you Iraqi ? Where are you from ? Can you see that it is almost empty , what is the point if I clean it and organize it when only few people come to this coffee everyday , and beside that I only open this coffee for few hours, I have no enough time to do everything … now what do you want to drink? He asked.
I smiled then I asked for his name he soon replied me by saying ( Wissam)
I said: I am sorry Wissam , I know the situation but I did not know that you are the only one here …
He was very frustrated and I understand his frustration, and he has all the right to be angry one me as I asked him a very silly question.
I asked for Pepsi and a piece of cake and I start thinking about my next step but I kept looking at Wissam while he was serving other customers , he was looking at me from time to time with a slight smile..
Few minutes later ,two young men in their 20s sit next to my table , they asked for cold juice and Nargila ( Hubbly Bubbly) and they started making jokes on each other about something that I could not understand , they were in a good looking , wearing Jeans and T-Shirts , having light beard , and have nice bodies.
Another five minutes .. my phone started ringing ..
Hello , Hi Qassim ,how are you? A friend of mine called me from his home asking me if I know another friend’s umber, yes hold on ..when I started giving him the number , one of the two guys who are setting next to me approached me..
Excuse me, do you have a pen?
No, I am sorry, I replied back...
Then he showed me a piece of paper with an address and he asked me if I know this address ..
Well , I am not good at directions but let me see.., no I do not know the location of this building although it is in the same street where we are ..
Ok good so we are close , he said ..
Are you from this area? He asked
No , but I live near by , I answered.
The weather is hot that why me and my friend decide to take some rest at this coffee, he said
Oh yeah ,it is so hot ..so where are you from ? I asked
Me and my friend are not from Baghdad , we are from Hilla , we are here to do some business and have some fun …
What kind of fun you are talking about, this is Baghdad and it is not safe at all for everyone, I said
I know but also there is always a chance to have fun and there is always nice faces around like your face, he answered me while he was looking at my body from head to toe…
His friend was listing to our conversation carefully…
I smiled to him in a away that can tell I understood what he was aiming for ..
Please join us , he asked..
Ok ,sure …, I said
By the way my name is Raad and this my friend Bassim , Raad said.
And my name is Landi and it is so nice to meet you guys
Do you like to drink something ,Raad said
My be a cup of tea , I answered him back .
We spoke for few minutes about the situation in Baghdad and about other different issues, they were so nice with me and his friend Bassim kept making joke about everything his friend was saying , he was so funny …but both were very attractive to me

Wissam the waiter brought me the tea , but he was looking at my eyes in a strange way as he wants to tell me something …



I watched Wissam walking away of my table after he brought me a cup of tea and I was wondering why he was looking at me that way , but I did not give him much attention as I was so excited to meet those gorgeous guys Raad and Bassim …
So what is your plan for today? Raad asked me
I have no plan, actually I was thinking about my next step just few minuets before you both showing up, I said with a wide smile on my face.
Ok, good so we can share a plan together for the rest of the day, Bassim replied back while he was smoking his Nargila.
Yes, you right and let make it a special day, what do you think Rami? Raad asked.

Well ,I really like to spend my day with you guys but I do not know where shall we go , is there any safe place to go ? I asked ..pretending as I do not know what they aiming for.
Let’s go to an indoor swimming pool , Bassim suggested.
Oh, that’s great idea I like swimming, I said.
Oh , that’s why you have a nice body it seems that you swim a lot, Raad said.
Raad was more bold than his friend Bassim and he was trying to push this issue more further..
Hahah, but you have a nice body too ,is this mean that you swim a lot , I said
No , actually he got this body because he runs a lot behind (Hilween) handsome , Bassim said while he was laughing…
Baasim was very clear about gay issue that time as (Hilween) a word uses by Iraqis when they want to mention handsome gays..

You mean We both and not only me, Raad replied back but also he kept laughing..
I was watching them laughing with a slight smile over my face with out giving any comment but I was so excited as they start to be more comfortable to talk with me…

Raad has a nice body , athletic , hairy , brown skin , brown eyes and dark hair, they way very sexy in the way that he talks or move …
Bassim is also has a body of a soccer player, has very nice eyes and very sexy smile ..
How long have you been friends ? I asked
We both from the same neighborhood in Hilla since childhood , we grow up together in the same schools , Raad said.

I can see you like each other a lot and you share same hobbies , I said
And a lot of secrets, Bassim said with a wild smile.
What kind of secrets, I asked
We will tell you one of theses secrets later but you will like it , Raad said while he was patting me on the back…
Yes, but this time three of us will share same secret!! ,Baasim replied back

I was really impressed by their hints, very reserved but in the same time very attractive…
I started drinking my tea and thinking about how was I lucky to meet those cute guys and especially under these difficult circumstances that we passing through…
Raad’s phone start ringing but he did not answer the phone for three times ..
Why do not you answer your phone ,I asked
Well , I just want to enjoy my time , he is a friend of mine calling me from Hilla , he said.

Do you like to eat something ,Bassim asked .No thank you I am fine, I replied back.
Few minutes later Raad’s phone rung again but this time he responded immediately and he jumped away in a fast action before answering the phone….
He is crazy , Bassim said while he was looking at my eyes in a different way ...
Maybe this time it was an important call, I said
Yes a call from his mother telling him to come back as soon as possible, Bassim said while he was laughing.
Of course he was joking but for me it was more than a joke and I did not like what Raad just did …
Me and Bassim continued talking about mobiles ringtones and he started to play me different rigtones coming from his mobile but few minutes later …
Did you finish your tea, the waiter Wissam said without noticing his coming from behind Bassim ..
Yes ,thank you , can I get a glass of water please ? I asked while I was listening to one of mobile ringtones but when I looked at Wissam’s face , I saw him very confused and his eyes were widely opened and he was staring in my eyes in a strange way while he was moving his head very slowly to the left and right , he was doing that while he was standing just behind Baassim and Raad was away busy with his phone call …
He really sacred me this time, what is wrong with Wissam , what does he want from me , why does he act like this way , did I do something wrong , I asked my self different questions while I was looking at his eyes ….
Wissam then moved very slow and took the cup of tea and walked away?
(Shako ) what’s up ? Bassim asked without noticing what Wissam did…
No, nothing I remembered something important that I should do it since morning but it should be fine I will do it tomorrow ,I replied back with out thinking ..
Oh , good as long as you are ok, Bassim said
I smiled to him and I kept listing to another ringtone from his mobile.

That was Ibrahim , you know him ,he called to tell me that we should meet him tomorrow morning as it was scheduled before but he kept asking me about other stuff , Raad said to Bassim while he was trying to pull his chair away from the table preparing to set down
Ok ,good so it wasn’t your mother this time, Bassim replied back while he was playing with his mobile…
I start laughing and pretending as I was enjoying my time but at the same time I was thinking about that waiter and what should I do …
Is there a bathroom in this coffee? I asked

Yes, go to the left side of that black door , Raad said while he was pointing his finger toward a big black door.
Oh , ok then excuse me , I said
Habibi be free, Bassim said.

I walked away with confused steps in the direction of that black door asking myself if I should speak to that freaky waiter …


I walked like blindman, I did not know what to do; should I tell Raad and Bassim about the freaky waiter Wissam or should I ask Wissam hemself politely if I did something wrong; I asked my self while I was walking toward the black door putting in my consideration the unstable situation and the lawless that my country is passing thorough …

Before I entering a walking space that leads to the bathroom, I turned around to see if Wissam still serving other customers in the coffee but I was surprised to see Raad and Bassim were sitting stillness watching my steps .. I looked at them with slight smile as I entered the bathroom ..
The bathroom was not clean and I expected that ,there was only one small hand -basin and a small mirror above it…
I washed my face thinking of what should I do next and while I was looking around with a dizzy eyes , suddenly the door behind me was opened and I saw Wissam holding his serving dish and breathing fast …I could not wait too long to hear from him as I was so sacred
What? What do you wan from me? I said but whispering because I did want anyone to hear me and beside that it was such a mixed feeling of suspicious, expecting and fears
Listen, those two guys are my best friends and I will tell them about you if you try to do anything wrong with me, I continued whispering to him…
He stood like a statue for few seconds looking to my eyes while his hand was shaking and then he looked at the ground and said: I thought you came here just to listen to what I am going to tell you and not to be afraid of me, I thought you got my signs to you when you were sitting there with those two men …
He said these words with broken and low voice and that gave impression that he really wants to tell me something..
Listen Wissam , I said but soon he interrupted me by saying :So you still remember my name …
Of course I do and I really respect you and your job but I do not understand why you are e doing that, I said.

What is your name ? Wisaam asked
Landi, I replied back
OK Landi, Did you tell those two gentlemen that you are gay? Wissam asked while he was looking at the serving dish between his hands.
Excuse me? What did you say? I said that in a rough voice
Please answer my question, did you tell them that you are gay? He asked me this time as he was very sure that I am gay …
I kept looking at his eyes with out saying a word ...
Ok, listen to me very well; if you did say then you life in danger and you should start thinking how to find away to avoid their wickedness, Wissam said but he continued ...
they come here from time to time looking for gays, in another word their mission is just looking for gays, they are members of a conservative party …
I stood like statue this time with a wide opened eyes staring into his eyes …
I know those tow men for months but I did not know what they were doing before, they come here frequently but last time they ask an old gay to go with them and he is a friend of mine, that old gay used to come to this coffee every week, Wissam said ….
He was happy to go with them but two weeks later he called me and he told me what happened to him and how they try to kill him. He was beaten severely; the old gay told me that he was hit with cables also he told me that they did not kill him only for the sake of his age and because he is married and has family and children, Wissam said.
My hands and my legs were shaking and my heart was racing but I kept looking into his eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing …
They kept him in a small and dark room for a week and he was beaten everyday..
Stop it!! Why are you telling me this and why should I believe you, I said

You don’t have to believe me, go ahead and join them I have no problem at all , at least I did what I had to do but also if you mention to them what I just told you that means you will put my life in danger…, Wissam said in a jumpy way
If that’s the case then why you are telling me this? I asked
Are you stupid? Do you think I will let those murderers to harm or to kill another one again, do you think I will keep watching them doing this when I have a choice to stop them , I can not stand seeing a man’s life in danger when I have a choice to help …,Wissma said .
This time he was very harsh with me and he was very serious in his speech and his eyes was telling the truth …
I am sorry but this is not an easy situation to me at all , now I do not know what to do, it does not mean that I do not trust you Wissam but, Wissma then interrupted me by saying
Landi!! I am gay like you , he said that while he was looking directly to my eyes ….
Ok, ok what should I do now, last time I gave them an excuse pretending that I need to go to bathroom just to find out what do you want from me …, I said
Yes, I saw one of them showing you the way to the bathroom but both kept looking at you , Wissam said.
Oh yeah, that was Raad … wait !! Oh my god ... I just remembered something!!
What did you remember ,Wissam asked.
Raad the man who showed me the way to the bathroom told me that they never been to this coffee shop before while he knows exactly where is the bathroom at this coffee shop, I said.
now do you believe what I just told you? Wissam Said.
Yes they told me that they are from Hilla and they never been to this place before, I said.
No , they are not from Hilla , Hila people are good people and those are just two killers, Wissam said.
Ok , now tell me what should I do ? I asked.
Do not worry , now tell me did you tell them that you are gay? Wissam asked
Well , I do not remember that I did , we were talking generally about different issues but I do not remember I told them that I am gay, I answered back .
Ok , great, he said that while he was smiling…
Now go and set with them normally as you did not know anything about them, he continued.
Ok and then what ? I asked.
nothing ,just give them any excuse, pretend that you remembered something important that you have to deal with and you should leave them, he answered me back .
But will they follow me ? I asked.
No, they will not as long as you did not tell them that you are gay, Wissam said.
Ok good so I have to go now I do not want them to suspect anything, I said.
Yes I agree with you but before you leave can I get you phone number ? Wissam asked with a slight smile on his face.
Sure , I said.
I walked out pretending that I am talking with someone on the phone and I am so angry and mad at him. I walked toward the table where Raad and Bassim are setting and I pulled out my chair in an angry way and I kept talking on the phone , I changed my behave and attitude totally although that I was so scared and confused but I felt that they were believing that I am talking to someone on the phone…
I do not remember what I was saying on the phone but all I remember how they were looking at me in a different way as I came out from the bathroom a different person.
What's wrong? Raad asked.
No ,nothing but I am sorry guys I have to leave now , its something urgent I should deal with but I can not explain it you at the moment, I said.
It was so great to meet you guys but I should leave as soon as possible but before I leave can I get your number then I can call you later and s we can arrange another meeting, I asked Raad.
Raad looked very confused at the beginning when I asked for his number then he said yes of course …
I stood up pretending that I am in hurry while he was giving me his phone number and then he asked me for my number but I pretended that I did not hear what he said and in a fast move I called Wissam who was standing few meters away to pay ther receipt before I leave but Radd insisted that he should pay for everything and not me.
Ok then , thank you for everything but I am sorry I should leave now, I will call you soon , bye..
But Raad then said in a loud :But you did not give me your phone number...
I walked away in a fast steps and I said I do not remember my number, its new one but I will miss call you in a minute ….
I walked very fast leaving Wissam charging them ….
I stopped a taxi once I stepped outside the coffee shop but few minutes later I asked the taxi drive to stop in a crowded street then I walked into a crowded store and I stayed there for more than 30 minutes before I rent anther taxi to take me to my flat directly.
Of course I tried to call Raad's number while I was at the store but as I expected it was incorrect number and that made me believe what Wissam said more and more.
Cold shower was the first thing I did when I reached my flat but then I slept for three hours as I was so scared and tired ….
My phone woke me up as it was wringing….
Oh , I am not going to answer a strange number , I said to myself.
My phone kept wringing for three times with the same number appearing on the screen then I decided to answer this strange number …
Hello …
Hi , how are you landi this is Wissam ..
Oh , hi Wissam I am sorry I did not answer my phone I thought it was wrong number , how are you doing ? What happened after I left you?.
Nothing , I just asked for lot of money , Wissam said while he was laughing..
But what happened then , I asked
They got very angry on me but then I said I am sorry I did mistake I thought you ordered this and that I kept them wait for five minutes to make sure that they are not going to follow you, Wissam replied.
Oh , that's very kind of you , you should not do that , I said.
You know what I am thinking seriously to change my coffee shop to a food store until the situation gets better or to find another project, Wissam said.
I know it's not easy for you but I think it's good idea.
So tell me what are you doing now , Wissam asked.
Nothing , I just woke up from long hours of sleeping after this exciting adventure at your coffee , I said that while I was laughing.
Can I see you today, Wissam said in a low voice.
Well , where shall we go?, its almost 5 p.m. ,unless if you like to stay with me tonight.
I love to, where do you live in Baghdad, Wissam said; ok .I'll see you in an hour..
I can't wait , I replied back ….